Visitors

Infinite possibilities! Indeed. Breathe into that. I dare you! I dared me! Gods, what a journey!

And here it is only early September and my beloved dead are already crowding in. Make hay while the sun shines!?? Does this bode well or.... It feels right. I was told by a friend to tell them to go. That they are tortured souls and I'm not tortured anymore. They don't seem tortured either. I never said I had poltergeists! Just house guests. They were frequent house guests when they were alive. So.... At least they don't cook or leave their crap scattered all over the house. Just all over my head! But, it feels comforting to have them around. Their presence brings me joy and a nice warm feeling. A calm. We did love each other. The best we knew how. And the fact that I am still among the living brings me gratitude. Given that this particluar lot of beloved dead has never visited enmasse before leads me to believe that they have a purpose. What, aside form lots of memories, I don't know yet. We'll just see where that goes.

So many changes have taken place over the last few months. Friends gone. Coven died a natural death. Well, I helped it along a little with the phrase, *I'm not comfortable working magic with you.* So, perhaps, a little euthanasia to end it's suffering. It was going before. Silly to pretend it was healthy. We had already stopped working together. No one had voiced it, though. So....

Old relationships over, new ones on the horizon. I am remarkably sane given the path I've been on. Or, perhaps, because of the path I've been on. There is no easier, softer way. Like *The Bear Hunt* no way out or onwards but through. There may be some residual drama left over. But, I choose not to participate. I've made chiooces based on my own integrity (which means *wholeness* BTW) and my own physical, mental, and spiritual health. I don't play around with that. I can't. Sometimes it takes me a while to catch on, all that tolerance and inherent value and all. Not that tolerance and inherent value ore bad as values go. No, no. They are right up there with what I aspire to be when I grow up. But there comes a time when I must hold my boundaries and let other people be who they are and do what they do outside of them (my boundaries).
This does not preclude loving them. No, indeed, it does not. I love them dearly and always will. But, love that coddles weakness in others does not strengthen the giver or the receiver. It damages everyone in the end. So, here's to repairing the damage and healing the wounds!